I’m looking and searching and hoping.
I’m not even sure what I want, but my soul knows what I need.
The mother in me knows that they deserve a place where they are loved completely for exactly how God made them.
I trust the Divine within me. I trust that my soul will sing when I find the place.
I’ve been struggling for years with finding a spiritual home for my family. Chris and I have spent hours in conversation. To be fair, he does more listening, and I do more talking in circles. I finally came to him and said, “Come with me on an adventure. Come with me. For one year, let’s just visit all kinds of places of worship. Let’s see what we learn. Let’s see where we end up.” And he answered like the kind, patient man I married always does, “Alright, hun. Where do you want to start?”
We headed to a little church I heard about almost a year ago. I’ve stalked their website, listened to sermons online, and wondered if it could work for us.
We received a warm, loving welcome.
***Warning: this is an honest “hey, look at all my ugly” post. So, if you’re feeling judgey, you might want to stop right here. ***
As I waited for the service to start, I looked around. I was uncomfortable. A bunch of misfits sat in the pews. They were the odds and ends of society and everything in between. They were just…different.
As soon as the thought hit me, I was ashamed. “For Heaven’s sake, Katie – it’s church! What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, shit, I just thought ‘hell’ in church…and ‘shit’.” I was off to a great start.
The service progressed, and it was beautiful. Moving. Lovely. Touched by the Divine.
People hugged and loved each other. People offered their joys and their needs.
Old, young, white, black, Hispanic, gay, and straight. God’s people. A bunch of misfits.
Near the end of the service, it hit me. If Jesus himself gathered a group for worship, these would be the ones. He gathered misfits. He gathered the odds and ends of society. Why had that initially made me uncomfortable?
Because I am one…
and I don’t want to be.
I want to fit. I want it to be easy. I want a place to belong, to raise my children, to be loved and supported. I have not fit in my church for a very long time. That’s why I’m on this journey isn’t it? I’m a misfit too.
I’m not sure that we’ll call this new church home. It’s only the first stop on the journey, but I am so glad it exists. In little Lexington, Kentucky, we have a beautiful place
for misfits like you and me.
This song was part of the service, and I’m not going to lie, I cried.